musings

As of late, I have felt pretty satisfied with where I am in terms of understanding my calling. I am a teacher. I am passionate about history. I want to help young people realize their value. However, as much as I feel content with that and as much as it sounds nice to be able to state all these things, I have recently been confronted with another question. Now what? It's great to know all of these things but what do I do with them? What will my life look like? Does my call include specifically being a history teacher or does the history part happen separate from the teaching? Can I feel fulfilled if my teaching takes the form of working with a church youth group or something like that? How deeply intertwined are the two? How deeply intertwined should they be? Where does my job search begin? What is the focus?

How do I even begin to figure this out? I need a quiet heart. I need open ears. I want direction. I want to find the balance between waiting and acting. How far does patience go before it becomes stagnation? I'm afraid of waiting too long, of being too patient. I'm also afraid of acting rashly and of jumping the gun. Unfortunately, that usually (for me) results in inaction on my part. Not patient waiting, but just doing nothing. Not thinking about it or doing anything about it. And that is not what I want.

This is my challenge.

bubble, bubble pasta pot

Today is going to be a posting of random things. I have had things I've thought of posting about but none of them seemed substantial enough to warrant their own post. So buckle up, bear with me, and enjoy the ride!

1. I finished reading The Godfather yesterday. I found it to be a well-written book in the sense that you really feel like you are a part of the world the characters inhabit. The syntax is uncomplicated and simple and it is similar to how mafia characters are often portrayed to speak: in short, concise sentences. Well done Mr. Puzo. Now I just have to see the movie.

2. Happy Halloween!

3. I have been reading a lot of different books recently (it happens when you have inordinate amounts of free time at your job) and several themes keep coming out that are intriguing to me and have caused me to have to wrestle with my own beliefs. What is the idea of calling? What is God calling me to do? What do I believe about God and how God causes change to happen in us? How do I become self-aware without becoming self-absorbed? Lots of questions that I don't necessarily have the answers to. I have a collection of people's thoughts on the topics but I am currently in process of figuring out what that means for me. I'm learning to trust. I'm learning to continue on the journey of life without becoming overwhelmed by these questions. I don't have to know everything right now. I can't just sit down, take a break from life and not continue to travel until I solve everything I'm struggling with. It's actually somewhat refreshing to realize that. Life doesn't stop for me. I keep going and it is good.

4. I have a sneaking suspicion I am getting sick. That does not excite me so I hope it's just a one day thing.

5. Brian Williams was on Sesame Street this morning. I only watched for about 5 minutes or so but it was fun. He was reporting on a disease afflicting everyone on the Street called "mine-itis". And every time Elmo referred to him, he called him "Mr. Brian Williams"

that's about the size of it

I am in the midst of an interesting situation. I'm sitting in a classroom (AP European History), supervising the students as they do the work left for them by their regular teacher--nothing really out of the ordinary except it's not just "the usual". They're working on a Venn diagram that compares Luther and Calvin and are studying for a test on the Reformation. There is a pair of students discussing their personal beliefs on religion. How you know if religious beliefs are true, where does good living fit it, how they feel about others who try to convert them, and their views on the role of God in their life. This is taking place across from the room conversations about the specifics of Luther's theology and how it is similar to and different from Calvin's.

Listening to all of this going on (and these are sophomores) I don't understand why many youth ministries neglect theological discussions and focus more on having fun. Is it because we don't think adolescents are capable of discussing theology deeply? Is it that we are scared because it might take us into territory we ourselves are not sure of, to a place where we don't have all the answers? Why do we simplify Christianity? Why do we tell young people they have to live one certain way as followers of Christ? That they have to listen to certain kinds of music and not use certain words and only hang out with certain people? We often do not allow them to wrestle with these kinds of questions. We don't introduce them to church history so the only place they learn about Luther and Calvin is if they happen to take a European History class that includes the topic of the Reformation. When a class assignment is prompting spontaneous discussions about theology, that should at least hint to us that young people are capable of much more than we often give them credit for.

just some thoughts.