musings

As of late, I have felt pretty satisfied with where I am in terms of understanding my calling. I am a teacher. I am passionate about history. I want to help young people realize their value. However, as much as I feel content with that and as much as it sounds nice to be able to state all these things, I have recently been confronted with another question. Now what? It's great to know all of these things but what do I do with them? What will my life look like? Does my call include specifically being a history teacher or does the history part happen separate from the teaching? Can I feel fulfilled if my teaching takes the form of working with a church youth group or something like that? How deeply intertwined are the two? How deeply intertwined should they be? Where does my job search begin? What is the focus?

How do I even begin to figure this out? I need a quiet heart. I need open ears. I want direction. I want to find the balance between waiting and acting. How far does patience go before it becomes stagnation? I'm afraid of waiting too long, of being too patient. I'm also afraid of acting rashly and of jumping the gun. Unfortunately, that usually (for me) results in inaction on my part. Not patient waiting, but just doing nothing. Not thinking about it or doing anything about it. And that is not what I want.

This is my challenge.